Happy Holidays

Jobs are closing early, family members are starting to arrive, while last minute shoppers scurry around getting that last gift or two. Not to mention the line in the grocery store of people who are missing that one ingredient needed to complete their famous dish.

As you prepare for the holidays, whether you celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa or just the essence of family, togetherness and thankfulness, I would like to leave you with a couple points.

1. Spend time with yourself – While it is good to enjoy the company of others, remember to take some time for yourself. Use this opportunity to look over your accomplishments and short comings of the past year and find ways to make things better in 2104. Thank yourself for all that you have done, show appreciation for your commitment to show up and do your best, promise to be an even better person next year and make yourself proud.
2. Leave the negatives behind – Don’t take anything or anyone into 2014 that isn’t worth it. Work out what can be and move on from the rest. Not everyone is meant to be in your life for eternity. Your best will come AFTER your worst is gone. Actor/singer Tyrese says, “Change your mind, change your life” – truer words have never been said.
3. Start now – Don’t wait until Jan. 1 to make resolutions, start now. Find an accountability partner if you need to and make those changes today. Start going to the gym, writing that book, sign up for that class, and go on that date. If you are still in need of some help, I have a friend named Robert Kennedy, III, who I know would be happy to help you transform your life in 28 days. You can connect with him here.

Just like most of you, I will spend the next few days engaged with my family and loved ones and planning for 2014, so you may not hear from me until the New Year. I wish you safe travels, lots of love and blessings.

Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays and a Prosperous New Year!

-Your Morning Motivator

Christmas Love

It’s the Friday before Christmas and all through the land, people are scrambling with gifts in hand

Students and teachers stare at the clock, waiting for dismissal to do the freedom rock

Cashiers are busy and sales associates are doing their best, to ensure happiness with all their guests

Churches are decorated and choirs are rehearsing, for programs to enhance their Christmas service

Airplanes, cars and buses are traveling along, to get their passengers home before Christmas morn

The season is here and cheer is all around, share a hug with someone who might be feeling down

Families have lost loved ones and may feel some despair, but remember a smile can bring much cheer

Prepare a dish, share a gift, spend time with those around

Share a laugh, donate some pants

SPREAD SOME CHRISTMAS LOVE!!

The Tangible Dream

Last night, while out with my friend and business partner, we started talking about our drive behind this business we are establishing. We mentioned the need for the service and how we couldn’t go wrong with the plan. I then said to him, that I don’t need to make $1mil in the first year. It would be nice, but the bigger impact would be that the participants gained something and are able to transfer that knowledge to their lives and others. He then said, even if we did it and the business only lasted a year, at least we tried. Our success would have come from taking this idea and actually turning it into a reality. I then told him that I’m so passionate about this idea, that if I never made it a reality, it would haunt me for the rest of my life. (That’s how I feel about dental school, but that’s a story for another day.) I would prefer to give it my all and it not work out, than to just live with the dream.

My message to you this morning is – “The Tangible Dream.”

I’m sure, like myself, many of you have had dreams; dreams of being a famous athlete, or world-renowned poet, a world traveler or Nobel Prize winner. However, not all dreams have to include world fame, some are more practical, such as graduating college, getting a decent paying job, buying a house or being a good parent. Whatever your dream is or was, it required some type of work in order to become a reality. It therefore had to move from the “ideas” category to the “tangible” category. In other words, dreams are like cotton candy – fluffy, sweet and full of air. Goals, or the tangible dreams, are more like clay – messy yet moldable, requiring time and effort in order for it to create a solid, beautiful final product.

I spent a good part of 2013 dreaming and writing down those dreams for future reference. But I knew if I wanted those dreams to ever become a real business, I would have to start setting deadlines, making calls and putting some work in. Now that I’ve done those things, my dream is starting to look more like reality.

As you get ready to say “thanks” to 2013 and “welcome” 2014, set some deadlines to the dreams you hold dear. Turn them from cotton candy to clay and get ready to rock. I look forward to seeing your final product. 

Out of Many

My heart was beating fast and my stomach instantly started to turn, as I awaited the results. No, I wasn’t sick or in a doctor’s office waiting for the results of a test. I was actually sitting on my couch, body crouched over, watching tv; waiting for Carson Daly to announce this season’s winner on “The Voice.” None of the contestants I knew personally, but one truly represented my heart and my home – Tessanne Chin.

While known among the reggae circuit for a few years now, Tessanne broke into mainstream America this past September, when she entered the blind auditions for “The Voice.” People immediately knew she was going to be a force to be reckoned with, when all four judges wanted to mentor her, during that initial audition. She decided to go with judge Adam Levine of Maroon 5. A decision I’m sure she was happy she made.

In addition to her strong stage presence and heartfelt singing, Tessanne has showed people the true meaning of Jamaica’s motto – “Out of Many, One People.” If she were living in America, this part Chinese, part Cherokee, part Black young woman would be forced to identify with one group and place herself in a category. But having been born on an island where people may look differently, but all sound the same, Tessanne had one answer for the question of, “where are you from.” Her answer was simply, “I am Jamaican.” In their homes around the world, I’m sure fellow Jamaicans nodded in agreement.

As the winner of this season’s show, Tessanne has done her part in bringing Jamaica to the forefront. Facebook and other social media networks were alive last night with comments from Jamaicans back home and in the Diaspora, congratulating Tessanne on her performance and making her country proud. As she moves forward with her singing career, I hope Tessanne continues to touch hearts with her songs and make Jamaica proud.

#teambreadandbutta

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Snow is falling (in NY), people are bustling about. Schools are getting ready to close for vacation and families are making plans to get together. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Which by the way, is 8 days away!!

During this time of year, it isn't uncommon to make and receive holiday greeting cards. Some may have a family portrait, while others are handwritten by children. Whichever way they are made, I'm sure they are done in love. As I was browsing the internet this morning, I came across a video of a family's Christmas video card that went viral. It is the best Christmas video I have ever seen! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. (Holderness Christmas video card).

Stay safe and enjoy the day.

Please Help

It's one thing for a family to lose a loved one to death. Whether it was caused by sickness or an unforeseen accident, laying them to rest and knowing they are at peace, tends to give the family a bit of comfort. But there is something unsettling about the unknown. When a person seems to have vanished into thin air and all possible leads keep taking you back to the same point of origin, you become frustrated. There are no real answers and you sit, hoping and praying, for the best.  

This is how the Patrick family has been feeling, for almost 2 weeks now. Teleka Patrick, pictured above, is a medical resident in Kalamazoo, MI. A native of NY and sister to an acquaintance of mine, Teleka was last seen on Dec. 5, when she was dropped off at her vehicle, after leaving work. Since that day, all that has been found is Teleka's car, abandoned and in the opposite direction of where she lived and worked.Since Dec. 6, her parents and siblings, along with local police, have been searching the area of Kalamazoo and Portage, IN, where her car was found, but have come up empty. 

If you live in the area or know anyone who does, please pass on this young woman's picture. You never know who may know something. For further information, you can also Google Teleka Patrick. If you would like to make a donation, to help the family with the cost associated with finding their loved one, you can do so here.

Thanks in advance and stay safe.

Don't Be Fooled

One of the hottest trending topics in the news this week is the “fake” sign language interpreter who functioned during the memorial service of Nelson Mandela. Many people are upset, that this imposter was able to finagle his way into such a high profile event, making a mockery of the deaf and legitimate interpreters of South Africa and the world. Others wondered how he made it through security clearance, to be so close to world leaders. Members of various South African and world committees for the deaf and sign language interpreters are up in arms about the matter; feeling disrespected and insulted by this man and the mockery he has made of the country and those who are hearing impaired. Most importantly, his lack of skills prevented those who were watching the service, from fully appreciating what was being said by the various presenters.

My message to you this morning is – “Don’t Be Fooled.”

Way too often, we allow people to come into our lives and fill our heads with information, without any background check. “No,” you say. “I’ve never done that.” Really? When was the last time you received a forwarded email and sent it on to 10 individuals, before checking the facts yourself? Or maybe you saw something on Facebook and shared it on our page without first checking references. (The other hot topic this week was a picture of President Obama taking a selfie with Danish and British premiers, and Mrs. Obama in the background looking “unamused.”) Without any context, definition or explanation, pictures and stories are circulated by intelligent people in an unintelligent way.

But this isn’t about social media exchanges. This is about life. This is about the abused woman, who keeps allowing the abuser back in the house because he said he won’t do it again. It’s about the man who puts his children to bed each night, then waits for his drunk wife to come home and do the same to her, as she tells him “this is the last time.” Or the friendship that isn’t made of friends, as one continually belittles the other. We have to stop allowing ourselves to be fooled, when the information we have clearly points in the other direction.

The interpreter made it to the stage, because someone was too lazy to check his credentials. Make sure you don’t treat your life the same way. 

Things Kids Say, pt. 2

Yesterday the question was asked to a group of 6^th graders, “Do parents always give good advice?” All hands immediately shot up and a resounding, “nooooo,” echoed throughout the classroom. Of course the teacher then asked them to defend their answer. Here are some of the responses:

-          “My mom told me if someone hits me, I should hit them back. I did that, then I got detention.”

-          “They always say don’t listen to your friends, don’t follow what other students are doing. Then one day I was doing something and my friends were telling me that the teacher was coming, but I didn’t listen, so I got in trouble.”

-          “My mom doesn’t know fashion. Whenever she chooses an outfit, it’s always weird and doesn’t match.” (This one seemed common among a few of the students.)

-          “They say don’t hit, just ignore. Then I end up being a punching bag.”

-          “My mom forced me to get this really ugly outfit and made me wear it to school. It was so bad, even the teacher asked me if I had gotten it from the 90s."

Then a brave soul raised her hand and said, “Parents don’t know everything, but they try their best. Because they’ve already gone to middle school and know what it is like. So they are trying to help us avoid some of the things they went through. But they went a long time ago and things have changed since back then and now.”

Awesome Monday

School age children tend to look forward to Monday, to reconnect with their friends and favorite teachers. However, adults in the workforce tend to dread Monday, as they are reminded of deadlines, meetings and supervisors that get under their skin. This has now caused Monday to be treated unfairly, even though it has personally done nothing wrong to anyone. In actuality we have brought the misery upon ourselves, through Monday. Rather than choosing to embrace the opportunity we have to work and provide for ourselves and families, we focus on the negative feelings that are sometimes associated with our workplace, business partners and others.

I remember working someplace, where every day felt like Monday – it was that bad. Every morning the alarm went off and I would lie in bed trying to figure out an excuse to not go in to work. In all fairness though, Monday didn’t cause my misery; neither did Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. My misery came from the job conditions and what I allowed myself to be bothered with. Once I started to approach the job with a different mindset, it became a bit easier to get out of bed in the morning. Eventually I left the job, as the environment was doing more harm than good, but while I was there I tried to make the best of the situation.

Let’s not allow the thought of Monday to stifle our growth and chance at something great. Remember, your day will only be as productive and awesome, as you make it to be.  

South Africa's Finest

True world leaders are not those who occupy seats of power in the G8 or the UN General Assembly. Instead they are found in the ditches feeding the hungry, like Mother Teresa; leading Civil Rights marches, like Martin Luther King, Jr.; breaking down barriers through music, like Bob Marley; encouraging nonviolent civil disobedience, like Mohandas Gandhi; or sitting in a prison cell for 27 years, then being released and becoming President of South Africa, like Nelson Mandela. These individuals did not see themselves are world leaders or icons. They simply did what they felt was right and needed, for the betterment of people.

Nelson Mandela was a world leader, because his efforts to change injustice in his country led to justice being done all over the world. The example that he set, by standing up against apartheid and bringing discrimination to the forefront of the world’s agenda, caused others to look at their personal agenda and call racism, injustice and segregation by their true names. After being unjustly imprisoned for nearly 30 years and then becoming president, he could have easily used his new power to seek revenge on those who mistreated him. However, he saw the bigger picture and understood the importance of “doing good to those who hate you and praying for those who mistreat you.”

Yesterday evening, at the age of 95 Nelson Mandela went to sleep. He lived a long fulfilling life that will be remembered, cherished and reflected upon for years to come. May the younger generation be taught of his self-sacrifice and untiring will to see the human race treated as one.

Built to Win

We all fall, miss a shot or forget our lines. We stumble through a speech, false start on the line of scrimmage or forget an ingredient. At some point in our lives, we have all had a “losing” moment, but that shouldn’t define us. After all, we are built to win.

Never worry so much about the beginning and middle stages of an event, that you miss out on the ending. For the last page, the final shot, the end result matters the most. If you fall – get back up; miss a shot – make the next two; forget your lines – adlib and continue on. What we may see as a loss, is not the end. We were made to win; therefore failure can never be the final product. It’s just a pit stop on the track where we are racing.

Dust off your pants, reopen your notebook, and return to memorizing those lines. Don’t give up on your dreams, as far-fetched as you may think they are, because we are built to win.

Rockefeller Center's Most Wonderful Time of the Year

For some, the commercialized Christmas season began on the 1^st of November, right after Halloween. Others waited a couple more weeks (right before Thanksgiving), before putting up their holiday lights and playing non-stop Christmas songs on the radio. I prefer to give each holiday its fair share of time; which means my Christmas holiday season starts tonight, with the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting. (Every year I promise myself that I’ll make it to the lighting, here’s hoping this is the year.)

While the holiday season has become very commercialized and money-oriented, from the perspective of stores and marketers, let us not forget the true meanings of the season – love, family and thankfulness. Nothing is wrong with exchanging gifts and showing others your love and appreciation for them in a tangible way, but let’s be sure not to get lost in the gift buying fiasco.

However you spend this holiday season, whether by celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or nothing at all, remember those who are less fortunate. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, donate a coat or warm clothing, buy a gift for a children’s toy drive, as a way of helping to ensure others also get to enjoy the holiday season.

 

Tonight put up your tree, hang some lights and start playing your holiday music accordingly. I think I might even buy myself a tree this year.

Know Your Status

Even in 2013, there are individuals who like to think that they are above this disease. They believe there is no way they can contract it, therefore it isn’t a concern of theirs. Some associate it with a particular group of people, considering themselves safe because they don’t practice that “lifestyle.” When in reality, this disease has no boundaries and cross lines of race, class and sexual orientation. While unsafe practices (sexually and with use of recreational drugs) make you more vulnerable to this disease, unfortunately, not falling into those categories doesn’t automatically exclude you either.

We’ve come a long way from the AIDS epidemic of the 80s and 90s, yet we still have a long way to go. Thanks to advances in medicine, people are no longer dying from the disease the way they were 20-25 years ago. However, this is also distorting the realness of it to many people, as they no longer see it as a death sentence, but something that can be lived with (such as diabetes and hypertension).

World AIDS Day was on Sunday, but we don’t have to wait until Dec. 1 to talk about hope, prevention and a cure.  Just because Americans are no longer dropping like flies from this disease, doesn’t mean others aren’t suffering. Get involved, know the facts and know your status. 

Fast and Furious

Over the weekend car enthusiasts and movie goers alike, were shaken by the untimely death of Paul Walker, star in the “Fast and Furious” movie series. Facebook, Twitter and other social media networks were swarmed with posts and updates from fans, shocked and saddened by his death. Some reporting that they had seen him earlier that day at his charity event, raising money for victims of the Philippines disaster. While others mentioned how they had grown attached to him and fellow F&F co-stars, after following them and the “Fast and Furious” story line for 10+ years.  

While I had never met Paul Walker, those who knew him personally described him as a kind person with a calm spirit. An attribute I'm sure most, if not all of us would want used to describe our character. We are fortunate to still have that opportunity, because we have breath in us. Let us not waste our days thinking about what could have been, but never putting pedal to the metal. Think fast and smart, then attack your dreams furiously and turn them into reality. We're only here once, so make sure it counts.

Happy Thanksgiving

There’s a show that comes on Lifetime that I enjoy watching, called “7 Days of Sex.” Each episode features two couples who are having issues in their relationship. The aim of the “experiment” is to engage in seven days of sex, in hopes that it helps rekindle the fire that once was, in their marriage. On the last day, they usually have a recommitment ceremony.

Last night while watching the show, I started to think about how often couples allow life to get in the way of their relationship, and instead of trying to work it out they let it go. Then I realized how fortunate I am, to have some strong couples around me. Even if they had some struggling times, they saw the bigger picture and weathered the storm. Maybe they even tried experiments of their own over the years, to keep the home happy.

On this Thanksgiving Day, I send a special shout out to the most amazing, sometimes weird, other times I don’t know how they’ve dealt with each other for so many years, God-fearing couple I know… my parents. Happy 31^st Anniversary!!

As you go through this day, remember to embrace the small stuff and be thankful for all. From my household to yours – HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

TGIF

I'm on my way to work, listening to music and cruising along. As I enter the exit/entrance ramp from one highway to the next, I see this small furry creature dash from behind the bushes and scurry across the road. I quickly tap my brakes, yelling at Mr. Squirrel for not having any respect for his life and crossing without first looking. (I know, that's real passion for a squirrel. But having run over a chipmunk earlier this year for reckless crossing, I get very emotional with them.) Anyhow, he made it safely across and I made it to work. 

Just like this squirrel, I'm sure we all had an experience this week we thought would end badly. Or maybe we just stepped out and had no idea what was waiting for us, but thankfully we made it through. As we get ready to wrap up this work week, let's celebrate with Mr. Squirrel, for making it safely through.

Do You

One day back in September, I was out in Queens volunteering at a church activity. While on a quick break to the bathroom, someone stopped me and said, "You work like I man. Don't you want to have children one day?" Puzzled and shocked by the statement that was thrown at me, I just shrugged my shoulders and responded, "I don't know."

After returning from the bathroom, what the person said started to sink in. I must admit that I was a bit upset by the statement, but more so confused as to how helping equated to "man's work" and would result in me not having children. My purpose at the activity was to help out wherever I was needed. If people were already giving out t-shirts, but there were juice boxes to be unloaded, I went to help unload the juice boxes. This meant that work was getting done, and Iwas happy with my contribution.

My message to you this morning is, "Do You."

Once you are happy with what it is that you are doing, don't worry about others. There will always be individuals who never learned to keep their mouths shut and feel it necessary to verbalize their every thought. Forgive them, their filter is broken. You are your best cheerleader, so don't worry about the haters. Just because you aren't doing something as they think you should, doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. Do you. After all, you have to deal with your conscience, not them.

Entertaining God's Opponent

In 2 Samuel 11 of the Bible, a story is told about King David. One evening, while his men were at war, David went to the roof of his palace and decided to have a look around. While surveying the area, he saw a woman bathing. David wanted her, so he sent someone to find out who she was. His messenger returned to him, informing David that her name was Bathsheba, the wife of one of his soldiers. In his greed, David sent for Bathsheba and slept with her. She then ended up pregnant. Trying to cover his tracks, David sent for Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, to get him to sleep with his wife. However, David’s plan didn’t work, as Uriah refused to leave his fellow soldiers. David then decided to go one step further and give Uriah a note for one of the head general’s. That note gave the order for Uriah to be put on the front line and killed, which is exactly what happened. Now that Uriah was no longer in the picture, David was able to move Bathsheba into the palace to be with him. “But the thing David had done displeased the Lord” (2 Samuel 11:26).

My message to you this morning is “Entertaining God’s Opponent (EGO)”

David’s first wrong was having an affair. Not wanting to own up to that, he then committed another sin, murder. David saw Bathsheba and wanted her. Even after finding out she was married, he allowed his ego to control and lead him into taking someone who wasn’t his and having an innocent person die. In other words, David entertained God’s opponent, Satan, by allowing him to infiltrate his thoughts will covetousness, lust and deceit.

When we allow our egos to get the best of us, we are giving Satan the upper hand. He is getting the opportunity to use us and create problems in our families, hatred among friends and dismay in workplaces. The ego destroys, because it focuses on self and eliminates the feeling of others. David thought about his carnal needs and disregarded the feelings of Bathsheba and Uriah. He then tried to cover it up, by getting Uriah to sleep with his wife. When that didn’t work, he settled with having Uriah killed, rather than face up to his wrongdoing.

Let us not allow self to stand in the way of our relationships. When we remove personal agendas from the table, all who sit will have their needs fulfilled. All David wanted, was to have sex. In the end he ended up with blood on his hands, a wife and someone calling him daddy… Remember that, the next time you want to push an idea through that focuses on yourself. 

Allergic to Mondays?

Are you allergic to Mondays?

Here's a remedy:

1 oz of productivity
1 oz of vision
2 oz of thankfulness
3 cups of happy thoughts

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl and stir. This batch will be good for 7 days. Make a new batch every Monday and you'll be able to make it through the week.

Rejoice In The Lord

There is a youth group in my church organization called the Pathfinder Club. It is similar to the Boys and Girls Scout, except it is co-ed and adds a spiritual context to its program. In the higher ranking of the Pathfinder Club are the Master Guides. These individuals serve as staff members (directors, instructors and the like) to the younger Pathfinders. For the past 3 years I have been privileged to teach and instruct one of those Master Guide courses, and today is their Investiture or Graduation Service.

These individuals have worked hard throughout the year. Attending seminars, going camping in tents and completing a Wilderness Camping experience with only a sleeping bag and tarp (no showers, bathrooms or electricity for 48 hours). They have completed their coursework and have passed their final exam. I am happy for them and those who completed the class under other instructors. I hope they honor this role they are taking on, and truly work with the young people of the church and in the community, to become better people for themselves and others.

As these graduates rejoice today, let us congratulate them. May you also rejoice in the fact that you have accomplished many goals in your own lives. Those which you have yet to complete, remain faithful knowing that God will grant you the desires of your heart.

Bon Sabbat. Shabbat Shalom. Happy Sabbath. Feliz Sabado.

TGIF

It's the time of the week. Hoping your week had more ups than downs and the negatives have been turned around. Shake a leg and let down your hair, have some fun like you just don't care.

Remember to take time for yourself and those you love.

Continued blessings always.

A Few Good People

The other evening I listened to a friend of mine speak on the topic, “A Few Good Men.” He dealt with the need for (physically, mentally and spiritually) strong men, to lead in the homes, community and church. The importance of them pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, so that women don’t have to carry the entire burden. While I found his talk to the relevant to today’s time, where having a man in the home seems to be a rare commodity, I thought about taking it a step further. What about a Few Good People?

Individuals who stand for something, so as not to fall for anything. Men and women who understand the demise of minorities and have taken up the challenge to help restore order to broken societies. Teachers, social workers and those working in corporate America, who understand the importance of being a positive role model and take time to help another. A few good people, who are willing to move outside of their comfort zone and help victims of a disaster, whether they suffered through Hurricane Sandy or Typhoon Haiyan. These individuals open businesses in their communities and hire local help; they participate in street fairs and donate to local causes. A few good people, who volunteer at soup kitchens and donate suits for others to be able to go on interviews.

The world needs a few good people. Are you one?

Until Passion Supersedes

The story is told of a young man who sat in his college class and wrote about an idea he had. He wanted to start a company that could get a package from NY to FL in one day and from NY to Canada in two days. Doubtful of the possibility of this actually happening, his teacher marked all over this young man’s assignment in red ink, discouraging his idea and calling him foolish for thinking any such thing could happen.

Determined to see his idea come to fruition, this same young man dropped out of college, borrowed $100 from a friend and started the American Messenger Company. The young man’s name was James E. Casey and the year was 1907. Today that company is known around the world as the United Parcel Service (UPS).

My message to you this morning is, “Until Passion Supersedes.”

Until passion supersedes doubt, there will be a possibility of failure. Not because it can’t be done, but because you are allowing the negativity of others to infiltrate your desire and wishes. The reason it is your dream, is because you believe it is a possibility. You can’t count on outsiders to see your dream if their eyes never close and wander from present reality. Take control of what you believe in and work towards it. No matter how big or small your idea is, if it makes you happy give it a try. I guarantee it will make someone else happy as well.

Until passion supersedes, your dreams will remain just that…a dream.

Veterans Day

They are my friends from church, my friends from high school and the family members of friends. They are your children, siblings, cousins and other relatives. They are you.

They respond to sounds that go bump in the night. They respond first and think later, as thinking first could endanger our lives. They live in deserts, on ships and other places we will never know. They miss births and birthday parties, weddings and funerals. They miss out on "life" while protecting our lives.

They are strong, always prepared, the few and the proud, doing the impossible everyday and a global force of good. They are our veterans.

"Ooh Rah."

TGIF

Yes, the weekend is approaching!!

If you are looking forward to a break from work, be thankful - some don't have a job.
If you are looking forward to spending time with family, enjoy it - some don't have a family to bond with.
If you have plans to go out to dinner with friends, keep that date - not everyone has food to eat.
If you have the opportunity to take a weekend trip, go.
If you're spending time cleaning or redecorating your home, do it -- not everyone has a place to call their own.

Every day, every opportunity is a gift. Take advantage of your weekends and all the days that fall in between, as no day, opportunity or interaction is promised.

So cheers to the weekend. Live, love and laugh.

Things Kids Say

I’ve been working with a group of middle schoolers; here are some of the things they say in class. Hope you enjoy it, as much as I did.

-          “I would choose the pregnant girl to help start over the world, cause it’s like a 2 for 1 special with her, since she’s already pregnant.”

-          “I would choose the pregnant girl to start over the world, because she’s young and can have babies like every 8 months for a long time.”

-          “Please excuse my smell in your class. I’m coming from soccer.”

-          “We need to take the nurse to take care of the baby. Who else is going to raise it, the Milky Way?”

-          “I would take the minister for religion and prayer and stuff.”

“We don’t need a minister for religion. We can do that ourselves.”

*Special anniversary shout out to my cousin Owen and his wife, Michelle.

Happy Birthday, shout out my friend Julia.

Being Your Best You

Have you ever watched babies playing together, whether it was a play date or in a daycare center?  While they may interact with each other from time to time, for the most part, they tend to do their own thing. They aren’t troubled by what is going on around them and could care less if someone is watching them or not. Babies are innocent in their interactions – doing what pleases them and makes them laugh. Even when they are playing with each other, after a while you may see one kind of go off on their own. No longer interested in sharing or doing what the other may want from them. They are content with themselves.

Then why is it, as we get older satisfaction shifts from what we like, to what others like for or about us. We wear clothes that society says is in fashion. We eat food that someone told us tastes good and we go to functions that bore us out of our minds. If we aren’t careful, the older we get, the less of our true selves we can find. It is important that we stay connected to our interests, preferences and goals, so that our lives don’t become puppets for an outsider.

I can only be me and you are only capable of being you. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we will stop looking to see who’s watching and start being our best selves.

Every Vote Counts

I remember as a child, going to the polling station and standing in line with my mom, as she waited to vote. Of course, I couldn’t wait to be 18 and old enough to cast my own vote. Having studied in Jamaica for a few years, I never participated in my first election until 2008. But I’ll never forget the pride I felt casting my ballot and believing my vote would make a difference.

However, I must admit that the presidential election was the only important election to me. Only as I’ve gotten older, have I come to understand that all elections are important. Especially the local ones, as the decisions made by local officials impact my life more quickly than the federal ones.

So remember to vote. It is your civic duty. If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain. Many have fought over the years, for this right to be available to various groups. Don’t let their fight go in vain. 

Ready or Not

For many, Monday is not their favorite day, as it means the beginning of another week of work, school and responsibilities. I like to see Mondays as a challenge and opportunity. A chance to try a new idea or tackle an unfinished project. While it may mean the ending of a beautiful weekend spent with family and friends, a busy Monday also means you have the opportunity to look forward to something. Take advantage of those opportunities, as there are many who don't have the privileges you have.

So ready or not, here's Monday. Accept its surprises and rock on!

Be of Good Cheer

A few weeks ago, my cousin was killed in Jamaica. Not because she was reckless or sick, but because someone decided to drive while under the influence of alcohol. This death hit my family very hard, as it was unexpected and tragic. Today, she will be laid to rest.

As you go through this day, I ask that you keep my family in prayer. Also, please remember her 4 children, who will now have to grow up without their mother. In John 16:33, Jesus tells us that in this world we will have tribulation, but we should be of good cheer as He has overcome the world.

May your day be full of joy, peace and cheer.

Happy Sabbath. Bon Sabbat. Feliz Sabado. Shabbat Shalom.

Party Time

My family got a great surprise this week, as one of my cousins “dropped in” from England. I haven’t seen him since 2010, so I was more than ecstatic when I walked in the house and he came around the corner. Knowing that this trip is a short one, we are all trying our best to make the most of his time here. As the weekend approaches us cousins plan on hanging out and making some memories.

After working hard this week, I hope you also get the opportunity to hang out and make some memories. Shake a leg, it’s party time!!

Ghouls and Fools

I never grew up celebrating or participating in Halloween activities. Even as an adult, I have maintained the same standards set by my parents, as the “holiday” has not shown itself to be worthwhile to me. Anyhow, there are many people who do participate in Halloween activities, whether it’s for themselves or for their children. As the day progresses and night comes on, I’m sure we will all see our share of ghosts, cartoon characters and superhuman costumes. However, there is a costume that I find to be both upsetting and insulting – the Trayvon Martin.

If you have paid any attention to social media network over the past couple weeks, you may have seen pictures circulating of individuals wearing hoodies and painted faces, with candy and iced tea in their hands. While there is a part of me that hopes those pictures are fake, the realistic side reminds me that there are insensitive fools, who would turn such a tragic situation into a joke. I understand that everyone will never see eye to eye on all matters, but respect for each other should override that. Whether it’s dressing up like Trayvon Martin or choosing to name your child Hitler, we need to have more respect for our fellow man and the tragedies they may have endured.

As you go through this day, stay safe from the 3ft. ghosts and don’t eat too many Kit Kat bars.

Finding Yourself

When people usually talks about finding themselves, I tend to ask if they were lost. They may not be seen by other people, but I’m sure we all know where our “self” is. Therefore, I found the term of “finding yourself” to be pointless, at least when related to backpacking across Europe or doing a road trip from Cali to NY. But I did see its purpose in figuring out where one truly belongs. The same way babies have that weird reaction when they first realize their little feet can take them from one toy to another; I think young adults also need to have that experience. Where they find something they are passionate about, and work it to the point that it also takes them from one job, dream, aspiration or invention to something greater.

Then I came across this quote, and its words are so true… It is NOT about finding ourselves. We are already here. What we have to do, is create the life that we want to be a part of. Place ourselves in circumstances that will work out in our favor and provide us with opportunities that will make us better, stronger and more useful. If a chef is hungry, he or she creates a meal. If an artist wants to see a painting, they create a picture. If a person wants to be a spectacle, they create drama.

It’s time we stop looking for ourselves. Who we are, is already inside of us. We just have to create the space for that character to shine.

Respect Yourself

If a pen no longer works, we throw it away. If the shoes now have holes in the bottom, we get rid of them. If the car can no longer be patched, we give in and buy a new one. Sometimes there is still life in the material objects, but rather than taking the time to repair and reuse, we throw simply throw away. There are times when the item is still full of life, but something bigger and better has come out on the market, so we trade-in and replace.

It’s so easy for us to get rid of material things that cause no harm to us. Yet, situations and people who hinder our progress and belittle our actions, many times get to set up shop with a long-term lease. The friendship may have been good three years ago, but no longer serves any purpose. No one says you can longer talk, but if you’re growing and that friend remains the same, maybe your time together needs to be minimized. If you find yourself spending less time with family and friends, because of a significant other – it may be time to re-evaluate that relationship as well. No good companion will keep you away from your family and friends. If your job is turning your hair gray and keeping you away from your kids, maybe you should consider switching departments or jobs completely.

Your happiness and success will only come from you. No one can do more for you than you are willing to do for yourself. The key is in your pocket and the password is in your hand. Know your worth, respect yourself.

Natural Beauty

One thing my mother taught me from a young age was to embrace who I am…naturally. Even though her hair is relaxed, she never forced me to perm my hair or made me feel as though my natural hair was an unnecessary burden. (Even though I do remember many instances of going to my aunt or cousin for school week hair rescue, after mom’s hairstyles left me with uneven parts or braids that stuck up in the air.) Mom always told me that perming my hair was my decision, and it was a decision that I made twice in my life…never again. Now I have nothing against those who relax their hair, it’s just not for me. I love my natural hair and the ability I have to do nothing to it, yet still get many compliments on my hairstyle.

Over the past 5 years of so, quite of number of my friends have given up the “creamy crack” and started wearing their hair naturally; whether it’s with extensions, dreads, afros or short n’ sexy. Some were tired of the relaxing process, while others wanted to try something different. Some decided to go back to their roots, while others felt “growing dreads” would be their “mid-life crisis.” Whatever the reason, natural hair in the Black community is taking over. Even though I have ridden this train for many years, I will happily welcome those who wish to climb on board.

But natural beauty isn’t only about hair. It’s about accepting who you are, without the perm to cover your hair, the makeup to cover your skin and the many other products that people hide behind. Some are so caught up in the commercialized opinion or concept of beauty, that they have forgotten who they are. In the process of “becoming someone else,” they are also showing our children, whether directly or indirectly, that it isn’t ok to be yourself. We have to reinforce to the younger generation that lighter skin isn’t better than darker skin – all are beautiful. Long, straight hair isn’t better than short, kinky hair – special people have all kinds of hair texture. Make-up should complement beauty, not mask or create it.

I know most of these issues tend to take place among females, but males also play an important role in the matter. Daddies, uncles, brothers and cousins should embrace the young girls in their family, reminding her that “She’s Royal,” because she is a gift.

Natural beauty rocks!! Spread the word. 

*Click here for a special treat.

Village Light

I was listening to K-Love on the drive home, when the radio personality mentioned a village in Norway that sits in a valley between two huge mountains. The village is so low, that 5-6 months out of the year it doesn’t get any sunlight, because the mountains block the light. Finally last year, 3 huge mirrors were placed on one mountainside, in order to reflect the sun and provide the village with some light. The radio host when on to mention how gloomy that village and its residents must have been for all those years, during the months it didn’t receive sunlight. And the difference the villagers must feel, now that there is constant light coming into their village.

The same thing happens to those who have been living in (figurative) darkness due to abuse, gang involvement, addiction and other negative behaviors. Their lives are gloomy, until light comes in and shines hope on them. That light may be a stranger, family member, job opportunity or simply a life-changing experience. You may be that light or have gone through the experience. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, you know that nothing is better than being in a well-lit place.

As you go through this day and onward, may the Light of Peace shine on you. As that Light shines, I hope you can serve as a mirror, allowing it to shine on the life of another.

Bon Sabbat. Shabbat Shalom. Happy Sabbath. Feliz Sabado.

The Power of the Tongue

Everyone enjoys a good debate every now and again. Two or more individuals engaged in a healthy discussion of pros and cons; each defending his or her position and trying their utmost to have their opponent concede.

Now what if you had the chance to debate on an international stage? To speak in front of a large audience, representing yourself, school and country. For the first time in its history, the World Universities Debating Championship, has allotted a spot for the Northern Caribbean University Debating Team. This of course, is a great accomplishment for the school, as well as the island country of Jamaica. For this, I am proud of my Alma Mater. The championship will take place in early 2014 in India. The team is working hard to attend, but lacks the finances. They are in need of JA$1.5 Mil (US$15,000) to attend this championship. If you can support in any way or know someone who can, please feel free to help these students. Click here to donate (look for WUDC link).

Every opportunity we give to another, allows them to give to someone else.

As Leaves Fall

While Summer has gone to rest until next year, let us embrace the beauty that Autumn brings us. As the trees prepare for the cold that comes with Old Man Winter, they lose their leaves and create beautiful sceneries, similar to the picture above. We can also take a page out of the trees' book, by shedding some personal leaves. Let's use this season to get rid of the leaves of jealousy, doubt and selfishness, which may be hindering us from achieving peace. Or maybe we are holding onto fear and self-pity, which is keeping us from success. The leaves could also be literal, such as weight that we want to lose, in order to be healthier and feel better about ourselves.

Whatever your leaves are, I hope you can take some time to shed them. Just as the physical trees shed their leaves and create pretty pictures for us, so will our leaves serve as the paint that helps create our beautiful future. 

Say "NO" to Bullying

There is an episode of the show “Frasier,” where he and his brother Niles encounter an former bully, who shows up at Frasier’s apartment to fix a broken toilet. Of course the bully doesn’t recognize them, but Niles remembers him and tries to give him a “swirlie” (A form of torture/punishment in which the victim is held upside down over a toilet, with his head in the toilet bowl, while it is flushed), to make up for the many ones he received while in grade school. Of course Frasier tries to convince Niles that he is better than the plumber, with his doctorate and other accolades, so there was no need to stoop to his level. Niles does put the idea to rest for a minute. Only to again think of revenge when he finds out the plumber owns an S-class Benz, the bigger brother to Niles’ E-class. In the end Frasier and Niles get their revenge, as the older brother to Niles’ bully also shows up at the apartment and makes light of the “bullying” that used to take place. Frasier and Niles give the bullying brothers swirlies, then run for cover.

While this was a TV show, the situation is very true to life. There are still some individuals, who don’t think this is a big deal. “Everyone gets picked on in school,” they say. “I was teased as a kid and look how I turned out,” is the argument of others. The fact of the matter is being teased 10 or 15 or 20 years ago for wearing glasses or not playing sports, is completely different from the bullying that takes place in schools across the country today. Dissing contests are no longer light-hearted and kept to the confines of school playgrounds and neighborhood parks. They now travel via text messages and social media networks, laced with inappropriate comments, videos and pictures, following their victims for days and months to come.

In no way, shape or form should bullying ever be tolerated. As educators, mentors, parents and family members, it is important that we teach children that bullying is not ok. The old saying that “words will never hurt me,” is no longer true. As words stick around much longer and travel farther, thanks to Facebook and Twitter. We must also reinforce to those being bullied that there is help for them. They should never feel that ending their life is the solution. While children find peer acceptance to be very important, they must also remember that their family loves them and wants them around.

October has been National Bullying Prevention Month. Let’s do our part to stop the hurt.