Save Our Sons

Sunday morning I was listening to a radio talk show. The Black community leaders who did the show, had the NYC Police Commissioner on answering questions from the listeners. There was one comment that he made that really stuck out to me, regarding the recent shooting and killing of young unarmed Black men by the hands of law enforcement. He said, "If you don't want to be stopped by the cops, don't do anything illegal."

WHAT!??! Did he really just say that? Of course, that would seem like a fairly reasonable statement to make and practical advice to follow. But if you are a minority male living in NYC, LA, Ferguson, Chicago or basically anywhere in the US right now, that statement becomes null and void. We've all heard about the shootings of young Black men over the past month (Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Ezell Ford) and although I believe there are three sides to every story (yours, mine and the truth) the fact still remains that too many young souls are being buried.

It seems as though some police officers have nothing else to do, besides harass innocent people. But we don't make it any better for our communities, when we don't train our young men to be respectful of themselves. If we only criticize them, but never take the time to teach and model for them positive behavior, we are doing them a disservice.

The likelihood of my brother ever being stopped by the police, is much less than that of the students I work with. Not only because of where he lives, but also how he carries himself. Even when he has on basketball shorts and a t-shirt, nothing is sagging off of him. He doesn't look "threatening." This isn't to say that I agree with the stereotypes that are many times used, but sometimes we have to know the game of the hunter, in order to live and play another day.

Our young men are being victimized. We are losing them to cemeteries and prisons. Those of us that know better, need to do better. Talk is cheap, if there is no action to back it up. Let's do what we can to save our sons. If we don't do it, we have no right to complain.

Diet Soda and Gastric Bypass

Last night I watched a couple episodes of, "My 600-lb Life." This show chronicles a year of the life of individuals who weigh 600 lbs or more. These individuals have recognized that they have little to no quality of life and decide to make a difference by seeking help from a bariatric surgeon. In one episode, after her daily work out, a woman decides she is going to stop at a fast food restaurant for a diet soda. She had already had the surgery and had lost over 100 lbs, which showed great progress. She also knew the soda would affect her stomach, but she rationalized her action by saying, "I have to cheat on Dr. Now's diet every now and then, in order to make it work." Hmmm...

Even though we know the end result, how often do we try to tweek the formula to fit our needs? We know we shouldn't eat those fries, but one order of fries won't hurt us. We shouldn't go on that date, but they said they changed. We shouldn't answer that call, but maybe they don't want to gossip. We know what is required and what needs to be avoided in order for us to succeed, but instead of following the guidelines we make excuses. 

Of course, that woman made an excuse in order to have that soda, and when she went to the doctor for a weigh-in, she hadn't lost any weight. The doctor asked questions and found out about the diet soda. He followed up with a stern reprimand, then reminded her why she had started this journey, to which she agreed. She never had another drink of soda.

The road for doing right isn't easy, but it is worth it. The minute we stop making excuses and start doing what has been laid out for us, the easier our journey will become. 

What's to Come

As I sat here pondering what to write this Monday morning, a song popped into my head. The lyrics say, "What's to come is better than what's been." Quite fitting for the beginning of the work week.

Mondays tend to be a drag for individuals, as they have to return to the hustle and bustle of life after spending quality time alone and/or with loved ones. There may be some unfinished business that has to be completed, a project that has been extended beyond its due date or simply bills that need to be paid.

No matter what it is that today, this Monday, has in store for you, know that it is better than last Monday. How do I know that? Simple. You are here to see it. Whatever trials you had last week, they were not strong enough to kill you. They may have caused a setback, but they were also placed to  set you up for something better.

Or maybe last week was a good week for you. Then expect something better this week. Keep trusting, keep holding on and know that your future is brighter than your past. 

It Ends Today

Those were three of the last words spoken by Eric Garner before he died. The 43 year old Staten Island man, who lost his life while placed in a compromising position by officers of the NYPD. 

I'm sure Mr. Garner's intention with those words, was not to become a martyr for a cause. If you watched the video, you would see that he was simply expressing frustration for a situation he had been placed in time and time again. But his words and his story has now brought a bigger issue to the forefront. 

Too often we see things in our communities, churches, classrooms, playgrounds, facebook and families, but instead of doing something of the situation we just complain. We take no action or responsibility, yet we want to see a difference. No change will ever take place, if we don't make an effort to foster that change. 

"It ends today!" These can be your words against hunger, domestic violence, teen pregnancy, police brutality or simply a disagreement in your family. It's up to you to make the difference.