Beating the Odds

They defied the odds to earn their PhDs together. She had him at the tender age of 13 and he dropped out of high school at 16. A 13 year-old mother and a 16 year-old high school dropout would not be considered the poster children for college and beyond, but they did it. This mother and son duo, worked against the odds to accomplish something “regular” people would see as impossible or a real challenge. Vickie McBride and her son, Maurice, recently graduated from Capella University with PhDs in K-12 Education and Organizational Management, respectively.

Your goal may not be a PhD, but instead a B.A. It may not be to own your own business, but to be successful in your field of work. Maybe it’s to finish that painting you started or mailing that manuscript you wrote. Whatever it is, don’t allow the odds of your situation to define you. You hold the key to your future, so don’t leave it under the front door mat. Use it to open the doors of opportunity that are ahead of you. Take advantage of the possibilities that want to become a part of your reality. You are your best cheerleader and supporter.

Successful people become successful, by successfully doing previously unsuccessful things.

* Click here for the full article on Vickie and Maurice McBride.

As Babies Do

One day last week I visited my cousin and her baby. They had just returned from a doctor’s visit, where the little one had received three shots. Surprisingly, she was quite pleasant when I arrived at the house and even more playful after her mom changed her diapers. As I picked up the 3-month old bundle and made silly faces, she started to smile and move around. I then lifted her up to my shoulder and she started to stretch herself out. At the same I turned to her mom and said how playful she was, for a baby who had just received three shots… I spoke too soon. As the words left my mouth, I felt a warmness start to cover my neck, move its way down through my shirt and end in my lap. I’m sure you’ve figured out what happened. Although lil’ bit wasn’t crying from the shots, she still had a reaction and spitting up her formula made her feel better. Of course, as quickly as she finished getting rid of her lunch she was again smiling with me and wiggling around.

My message to you this morning is – “As Babies Do.”

When a baby doesn’t like a particular food that they are given, they do something very simple – spit it out. No matter how hard you try to force it down their throat, it is guaranteed to come back up. This simple indicator, shows us that they don’t like or want what they are being given. Maybe it doesn’t taste right, is too hot, spoiled or upsets their stomach. This reaction also occurs when they are sick, like in the story told above. It’s their way of telling us that something is not right.

Why is it then, that as adults we don’t follow this same example when dealing with issues in life? Rather than spitting out injustice, stupidity and insults, we take a deep breath and swallow; forcing our insides to deal with the poison of hatred and negativity. We need to know when to regurgitate issues that are of no value to our lives. The more we keep in, the more likely we are to suffer from a system shut down, in the form of high blood pressure and other stress related illnesses.

As you go through today and moving forward, try to do as babies do, and get rid of the bad stuff. I promise you’ll smile afterwards.  

Diamond in the Rough

My early writings were a diamond in the rough. While writing was something I liked to do, I never really saw it for its true potential. I would speak at churches and other functions and people would always approach me after, saying how they enjoyed my speech and I should keep writing. My mom even suggested that I become a motivational speaker, to which I responded that she could be my agent. Writing was just something I did, a writer or speaker wasn’t who I wanted to become. But here I am, writing for readers on a daily basis. Here I am, finally accepting the talent that I have and honing it into a beautiful craft. My diamond was hidden in the rough, but others saw the potential – people I spoke to, my mom and dad, and other family members. However, this diamond would never have lost the dirt that covered it, if I decide to clean it up. In other words, I had to accept that I had a diamond and be willing to brush away the dirt until its true beauty was visible. No one could do that for me.

You have a diamond in the rough as well, whether it’s your smile, singing, speaking, teaching or listening. But it will remain hidden until you can see its potential beyond the dirt that it’s covered by. You have to believe that you are capable of more and work towards that. You have to visualize your diamond as the shiny final product of a book, a cd, or happy patients, and work towards getting it to that point. No one can do that for you. Haters may try to duplicate or negate the good you try to orchestrate, but just remind them that you will never tolerate or accommodate the negative they want to perpetrate. 

A Penny Saved

While I’m good at pinching a penny, I wouldn’t consider myself the best saver in the world. I always have something that needs to be paid or taken care of. My method for dealing with this problem is having the money automatically placed into another account – if I don’t see it, then I don’t miss it. For this I have an ING account. It had been inactive for a while, but earlier this year I decided to start using it again. Of course, I had forgotten the PIN, so I had to call customer service for assistance. In addition to setting me up for a new PIN (which they sent in the mail), they helped me activate automatic deductions. This was all well and good, except for the fact that I kept forgetting to call and activate my PIN, for me to access the account. Anyhow, long story short, I finally got it done and “WHOA, WHAT A SURPRISE.” While it isn’t hundreds of thousands of dollars in the account, it’s definitely more than I expected.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who isn’t good at saving, so I’m going to share a chart with you to help you do better. Remember a penny saved, can help buy ice cream one day.

Is your Storehouse Secure

For the past two weeks or so I’ve been hearing them scurry across the roof. Giving me an immediate flashback to when they had taken up residence between the roof and my ceiling… Here’s the story. Picture it, Mt. Vernon, three years ago…

It was around this time of the year and around 5am I would hear this running in my crawl space. Of course, my first thought was rats. Followed by my second thought – if I had rats that made so much noise, I was leaving on the next train. I eventually told my neighbor about my morning alarm and he told me that most likely it was squirrels, which had gotten in and were storing their food for the winter. He said I should call an exterminator, because they’ll eat the insulation and other materials, which would be costly to replace. I told my dad and we got an exterminator to come to the house. He confirmed that it was squirrels and set a one-way trap for them. About a week later, he returned to remove the trap and close the hole they had been entering the house through.

My message to you this morning is – “Is your storehouse secure?”

Do you find yourself like the squirrel, storing your nuts (passions, stories, faith), in a place or person that isn’t secure? Maybe it’s a long time friend, whom you have grown to trust, only to find out your secrets are now in “Scandal Weekly,” because they didn’t think it was that serious? Or a job you devoted 60hrs/wk, only to be fired without a reason. At some point in our lives we have stored our nuts in a place they don’t belong, whether it was a bad relationship, poor work environment, pessimistic friends or one too many Oprah Life Classes. Just because the space seems secure, doesn’t mean it will serve the purpose we want.

A friend yesterday may not be the friend you need today. Just because the job pays well, doesn’t mean your health and family deserves to suffer. And receiving flowers, after being called names doesn’t constitute a healthy relationship.

Secure your passions in a place you know they’ll be safe. Don’t end up like Mr. Squirrel, who didn’t have the key to his storehouse. 

Your #1 Fan

The radio show has a contest, a pair of free concert tickets to be given to the #1 fan of a singer. Immediately, everyone that thinks they are the #1 fan starts calling in to the show trying to be the winner of those tickets. Caller after caller, they tell their story to the radio jockey, of the shrine they have in their closet of the singer or how they know every dance move. Some are even able to tell what type of cereal the singer likes to eat and where they get their favorite sandwich. Old and young, male and female call in proclaiming their allegiance to this person who doesn’t even know they exist, begging for the tickets to be given to them, only to be turned down. Then there is one caller, who has a cool voice and doesn’t seem to be flustered by the question that is posed, “Why do you think you’re the #1 fan?” “Easy,” they said, as they started to give their answer. “I’m the #1 fan, because I’ve been there since day one. When he’s awake, I’m awake. When he sleeps, I catch a nap as well. I was there when the first note was hit and idea crazy idea popped into his head that he could maybe do this for a living. There were others along the way, but no one has been as dedicated as I am. We eat, sleep and live this game together. I am the #1 fan because I am him.”

My message to you this morning is – “Your #1 Fan?”

It sometimes seems easier to cheer on someone else then it is to cheer on ourselves, because the commitment level doesn’t have to be there. When dealing with other people we can always jump in and out of the race, depending on how much of ourselves we want to give at the time. But when we try to do the same thing with ourselves, we know the result will only be detrimental.

No one will ever push as hard as you are capable of pushing yourself. The reason for that is simple – they aren’t as hungry as you are, they shouldn’t be as hungry as you are. If your posse is pushing harder for your dream than you are, maybe that dream really belongs them. Ask any successful person how they made it to the top. Yes, they may have had a supportive partner, family and friends, but I guarantee they’ll also mention their commitment. The long nights they spent staring at the computer, working in the studio, drawing in the office or playing in the garage. Days of skipped showers, eating stale leftovers, time away from loved ones and missed events in order to make that dream a reality. Your fan base starts inside.

Take a look in your cheering section. I hope that seat in Section 1 Row 1 Seat 1 belongs you.

Weight Watchers

I’m sure you’re familiar with Weight Watchers, right? That wonderful diet and exercise program that has transformed the bodies of celebrities such as Jennifer Hudson and Jessica Simpson; even getting men on board by helping Sir Charles (Barkley) lose weight. It has been around for decades, but oh the difference a celebrity endorsement can make. While I’ve never used the program, it seems to me that its success lies in the fact that participants don’t have to starve themselves, just watch what they eat. By using a points system, they are able to eat “regular food” with portion control. Sounds good, right? It’s also obvious that it works.

So, why don’t we apply the same method to our lives? Nothing is wrong with activities such as watching television, listening to music, searching the internet, shopping, running or countless other stuff. But what happens when we don’t use “portion control?” That’s right, the “weight” comes back on, in the form of laziness, needless spending, mischief and time away from loved ones. (Personally, I must admit that since I’ve been home for the past month, I’ve watched way too much television. I do it more for company than the entertainment, but maybe I’ll actually pick up a book today, before my brain turns to slime.)

We know that all things should be done in moderation. Yet it’s always easier to apply that concept for something we must do, rather than activities we enjoy doing. In order for our lives to be better rounded and fulfilling, let’s try weight watching for all of our activities. Point control not only helps with food and body weight control, but also activities that assist it mental, emotional, physical and spiritual control.

I’m signing off now to pick up a book. What are you going to do?

House Rich and Pocket Poor

There’s a show that airs on HGTV titled, “The Property Brothers.” On this show two brothers, one a realtor the other a contractor, help families purchase a fixer-upper and transform it into their dream home. The reason the families usually end up with something that needs remodeling is because their expectations are much bigger than their pockets.

Last night I watched an episode where the couple had a budget of $680,000. They found a house in their “ideal community,” but it was in need on major repair and had a list price of $760,000. Of course the realtor was skeptical of having them choose this house, as it was almost $100,000 over budget, not yet including a budget for the renovations. While deciding between that house and another one, he said to them, “I understand that you like this house, but I really want you to think about your finances. I don’t want you to end up house rich and pocket poor.” In the end the couple chose the more expensive house. They purchased it for $750,000 and added another $125,000 in renovations. This brought their total to $875,000, a cool $195,000 over their original budget. They said they had the extra money that was needed; they just had to “switch around some assets and dip into their rainy day fund.” I hope they were being honest with themselves and not just looking at the superficial value of living in a certain community.

My message to you this morning is – “House Rich and Pocket Poor.”

We’ve all done it at some time or another, sacrificed something we needed for something we wanted. It may not have been as extravagant as this couple mentioned above, but we’ve been in their shoes. Maybe we brought lunch from home for a week, in order to purchase an outfit for a special occasion; or bought a particular car to match that of a friend, knowing it really wasn’t in our budget. “Not me,” you’re saying. Oh, you know people like that, but you don’t do that. Ok, I got you. What about this then? What about your character, your personality?

Have you ever sacrificed who you were in order to “fit in” or be accepted? Compromised your standards to fit into that “ideal community,” only to fall flat on your face and without a rainy day fund? On the outside you make everything look good and up-to-date, but behind the sheetrock are faulty knob and tube wiring and leaky pipes. So much money has been spent beautifying the fake outer appearance that the real person withers away inside. You are “house rich and pocket poor.”

While owning a house is a wonderful accomplishment, it’s not that great if you end up in foreclosure within a year. Buy what you can truly afford and be who you really are, you will be happier in the end. After all, what good is the caviar if you can’t afford to break the seal?

Someone is Always Looking

Have you ever wondered if teachers really are gifted with bionic ears and an extra set of eyes, in order to see all that takes place in their classroom? Well, I’m here to tell you that they are. Yup, you heard it here first. True teachers are gifted with super clean ears and an extra pair of eyes in the back of their head. Don’t believe me? See my mom is action!!

Yesterday I visited her school and spent some time in her classroom. I sat in the back of the room, observing the students and wondering why they were so wired after having eaten lunch. Being an interactive teacher, mom had the students review their numbers and make up simple math equations for each other to solve (she teaches high school French, for those who are wondering). After completing that activity, she turns to the board and starts to write the next activity. At the same time a boy in the back on the room stands up and starts fooling around, without an interruption to her writing or turning her head around, mom says, “Ben, please take your seat.” The room goes silent. Then I hear one student say to another, “How did she see him?” One responds, “I don’t know,” and the other says, “It’s Ruthie, she sees everything.” If you saw me when this happened, I looked like a deer caught in headlights. Completely perplexed by the matter, I immediately texted my brother and told him what happened. He responded, “LOL, she sees and smells everything.”

My message to you this morning is – “Someone is Always Looking.”

People are too eager to talk about someone behind their backs, rather than tell them the truth too their face. We smile and laugh with individuals we claim to dislike, only to chop them down while they are writing on the board. There is nothing mature about dishonesty, which is what we are participating in. It is better to say hi and keep moving, then to engage someone in a meaningless social encounter. No one can honestly say that they expect to be liked by everyone; therefore it shouldn’t be a crime to not want to engage with everyone we meet. We are human and have different tastes and interests, but respect should always be a priority.

As you go through this day and others to come remember, never fool around behind a person, you never know when they might be a teacher.

New day, new blessings

As I scrolled through my Facebook page this morning, I came across a status which read, “New day, new blessings.”

Each day that we wake up we are given another opportunity to give the world our best shot. While yesterday may have started off wrong, turned into something horrible or ended on a bad note, the reality of today is that yesterday is in the past. We can’t allow the negatives of our past to dictate our present or future. Because the deli guy put mayo on your sandwich yesterday, doesn’t mean that today’s lunch will also be bad. Take the lesson from yesterday’s misfortune and be sure to speak clearly when giving him your order today.

It’s a new day, with new blessings waiting for us. All we have to do is open our hearts and minds to receive them. We must also be willing to share our blessings, as they will multiple with each act of kindness. The blessings we receive may not be the blessings we want, but it is what we need. If we were to always get what we want, imagine the chaos our lives would be. In waiting, we also practice patience and faith – skills that are becoming extinct, like tape cassettes and typewriters. As you go through this day, remember, “New day, new blessings.”

Also, blessings are a gift that work best in warm conditions, cold hearts need not apply.

*Shout out to Mrs. Ayo for the Fb status.

Autumn Divide

As Fall approaches many households become divided and will remain this way for a few months. Evidence of the division is visible during visits or conversations, especially on Thursdays, Sundays and Mondays. Couples who appeared happy three weeks ago, as they returned from vacation, now sit on opposite ends of the couch refusing to get any closer. Children are stuck in the middle, unsure as to whether they should support their mother, father or take their own stance.

While this separation does not take place in every home, most people know of a family that is affected by.... FOOTBALL SEASON. Yes football, the great American sport that sometimes brings friends together and stretches families apart (only for them to reunite in Feb.).

I'm sure most of you are smiling by now. Knowing that I wasn't speaking of any serious matter, but separation in the family is a sad reality. Everyday parents and children end up in conflict over someone's selfishness or inability to look at a situation with an open mind. Causing unnecessary tension and sometimes long term hurt.

As we go through each day, I hope we take time to consider the feelings of those we interact with on a regular basis. Appreciate the similarities we have and talk through the differences that make us unique.

Let your only long term rivalry include a ball and jersey.

Go Giants!!

Yom Kippur

During these Sabbath hours my Jewish brethren are observing Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement. This special day, also known as the “Sabbath of Sabbaths” is the holiest day of the year for Jews. For approximately 25-hours they fast and pray, spending most of the time in the synagogues and seeking repentance for their sins of the prior year. It is a unique and special service for those of the Jewish faith.

While I believe seeking repentance for our sins should be done regularly, there is nothing wrong with setting aside special time to truly search within ourselves and pray for the areas of our lives that need a little maintenance or a huge overhaul. Many times we carry around burdens of things past because we haven’t forgiven ourselves. What unnecessary loads we bear!

On this Sabbath and Day of Atonement I hope you take time to reflect, forgive yourself and others of wrongs that have burdened you. May a peace that passeth all understanding fill your souls and engulf your hearts.

Happy Sabbath, Shabbat Shalom and G'mar Hatimah Tovah (May You Be Sealed for a Good Year [in the Book of Life]).

Wedding Clues, Who knew

On this wonderful Friday, at 6pm, a friend of mine will stand at the altar and wait for his bride to walk down the aisle and join him, as they exchange vows in matrimony. Some people would suggest that today, Friday the 13^th isn’t the best day to get married, but whose to decide which marriages do and don’t work, based on a date on the calendar. Even though I have not been privileged (some would say cursed) with the responsibility of marriage, there are a couple things I have learned from my own relationships and others that I have observed.

1. Be honest – Tell yourself and your significant other the truth. Too many times relationships go sour because someone has spent time lying to him/herself about how they truly feel in the situation. When something happens, instead of speaking up they say everything is “ok” and never address the matter at hand; which leads to misunderstanding and confusion down the road.
2. Stop trying to please outsiders – If you spend more time listening to what friends and family feel you should be doing, maybe you should date one of them instead. Don’t get caught up pleasing outsiders and forget about yourself, your significant and what is important to the two of you.
3. Know when to walk away – I’m not talking about divorce (though that is sometimes the better option), but not all arguments and disagreements must have a winner. Sometimes feelings can be saved and regrets avoided if one person walks away to regroup and calm down, in order for a civil conversation to take place later on. Don’t walk too far or for too long though, you might end up having to sleep somewhere else for the night.  
4. Remember to laugh – There’s a reason you chose to marry each other. There was a point when you laughed, went on dates and talked endlessly about nothing. Don’t allow your lives to become so overburdened with work, children, activities and the “pursuit of happiness” that you forget why you married your partner in crime.

Like I said, I’m no expert, but I’ve learned a couple things along the way. Hopefully these tidbits will help someone.

To my bro, who’s jumping the broom later this evening, congrats! May their lives be filled with laughter, success and experiences that bring them closer together.

For those who’ve already jumped the broom, continue to work on the best job you’ve ever taken.

Your Neighbor's Garbage

Today is garbage day in my neighborhood. As I looked out the window, to make sure I didn’t miss pick-up, I noticed someone had placed their rubbish in front of my house. Immediately I threw some clothes on and headed outside to take care of the matter. As I pulled out my garbage can, I saw my neighbors from across the street and asked them if they had placed some of their rubbish in front of the house (thinking that they were trying to split it up). They told me that it wasn’t them. At the same time my neighbor next door pulled up and heard the conversation. He told me that it was his garbage, because he already had a lot in front of his own house. Knowing that we do the same thing (split garbage) with him when we have a lot of garbage, I had no problem doing it for my neighbor. However, I did make a joke that if it didn’t belong to either of those neighbors, I would have pushed the garbage to the middle of the street.

Have you ever taken on someone else’s garbage? Better yet, I should ask, how often do you take on other people’s garbage, because we have all committed that crime. Someone has a burden and we end up taking it on more than they do. For example, a wife tells her best friend that she and her husband had an argument. Next thing you know, the best friend is giving the husband dirty looks and the cold shoulder, while the wife has forgiven and moved on. Other times we become the unofficial counselor for everyone and are burdened down with their problems and our own. Our minds are clouded with worry and stress wears upon our faces, as we drag along the cares of the world.

Nothing is wrong with lending a listening ear (realize I said lend and not give). However, we also need to know when and where to draw the line in order to keep ourselves intact. Every once in a while it’s ok to help someone with their garbage, but you also have to know when to send it back or place it in the middle of the street. After all, no one likes a hoarder!!

9/11 Remembered

I was attending Garden State Academy at the time. I had gone to breakfast that morning, but since I didn’t have a first period class I returned to my dorm room for a nap before 2^nd period. The radio was on 97.1FM (Hot 97) and I was in a half sleep, when the radio personality cut the song and said one of the Twin Towers had been hit by a plane. Of course, I thought it was one of the morning pranks and didn’t pay it any mind. I then fell asleep for what seemed like a second, to jump up and realize I was going to be late for class. As I ran through the hallway and down the steps, I slipped on the second to last step, missed the last one and landed awkwardly on my ankle (only me, I know…). As I limped to the dean’s office, I saw the television on in her office. She was so caught up in what was happening on the screen, she didn’t even see me enter the room.

I never made it class that day. The administration cancelled classes and called an emergency assembly. Everyone was crying and in a state of shock, especially my schoolmates whose parents worked in and around the WTC area and those whose parents were diplomats. I don’t have to tell you how that day ended, I’m sure you all remember, as though it happened 12 minutes and not 12 years ago.

In forgetting, we actually numb ourselves to the reality of a situation; not only with 9/11, but in other circumstances as well. Remembering on the other hand, allows us to weep, accept what has happened and permit healing to take place.

We may never truly understand why those attacks took place and why some lived and many died on that day. What we should understand, is that tomorrow is never promised and today is a gift. Love those around you, smile with a stranger, play with a child and never go to bed angry.

9/11 – We will never forget. 

Roll Dog

Some of you might be aware of the term “roll dog (dawg),” with other variations including “role,” “rode” and “road.” This term, which originated in person, refers to a friend who sticks with you regardless of the situation. Through thick and thin your “roll dog” is by your side, sometimes helping you to get into trouble and other times bailing you out. While the term may have originated behind the iron curtain of America and have a negative connotation there, it can definitely be used on the outside to suggest something good.

Last night while watching TV, a commercial came on with about six guys playing basketball. These guys were playing hard; as sweat glistened on their faces and gave their t-shirts the two tone effect. One guy would dribble the ball then pass it to another, who would take a shot and miss. The other team would get the rebound, pass the ball to a teammate, who would also take a shot and miss. The scene ended with both teams getting a basket. What caught my attention though, was the fact that all the guys were in wheelchairs. But after the last basket was scored, one guy said “we’re getting better at this;” he then pulled the Velcro that was holding his legs back and stood up. Four other guys followed suit, leaving only one in a wheelchair as they left the gym. The next scene showed them in a bar, as it was a commercial for Guinness Stout.

Now, I don’t know if drinking Guinness makes you a better friend, but I do know that only true friends would go through that “hassle” in order to make sure one friend was accommodated for. Not everyone is willing to go to such lengths for another individual, but true friends will. Your “roll dog” will do whatever it takes to make sure you are as comfortable as they are. The five friends with the ability to walk could have easily found one person to replace their friend in the wheelchair, for their games of basketball. After all, it’s easier to find one person walking then five guys in wheelchairs. But they decided it was better for their clique to stay together and accommodate their paraplegic friend.

Are you that type of friend? Are you willing to do what it takes to help someone in your life feel a bit better about himself or herself? Today you may be the one “walking,” but tomorrow it could be you in the “wheelchair.”

Bright Monster

When I was in Pre-school, my dad used to take me to school in the mornings. I can’t say we had any long philosophical conversations or that he would remind me to be polite and share with others (after all, I was only 4). But one thing we both seem to remember is me hiding from the sun. I was short and the sun visor didn’t do me any justice. My only escape from the Bright Monster was to hide under the dashboard. I would stay there until we reached my school, at which time he’d tell me to come out and walk me to my class.

Today is the first day of school for many public school students. Some are returning from summer holiday, while others are entering a completely new experience. Like I did many years ago, I’m sure there is someone who wants to hide under the dashboard and escape the Bright Monster. Unfortunately, there is someone else calling to them and waiting to take their hand and help them face their new challenge.

Even though I spoke about the “first day” last week, I would like to take this time to encourage those who are beginning something new today – whether it’s a new grade/class, school, job or simply a new day. While hiding under the dashboard may seem like the obvious choice, nothing can be accomplished down there. We all must eventually come up and face the Bright Monster.” It may seem difficult at first, but over time our eyes will adjust.


I eventually stopped hiding under the dashboard, not only because I couldn’t fit but I was now tall enough to pull down the visor and take the Bright Monster head-on. 

Two Funerals, No Weddings and One Smile

I’m up early and getting ready. Not to attend church, as I would most Sabbath mornings, but rather to attend the funeral service of a former teacher. Instead of my former teachers returning from summer break and sharing enjoyable stories of their vacation, they were greeted by the news of the loss of a co-worker. The entire school community is shocked, present and past students and faculty alike, as we have never lost a faculty member who currently worked at the school. We still don’t know what happened, but we all have pleasant memories of Valerie and her love for Math and the academics… Tomorrow won’t be much better either, as I will participate in the funeral service for my church sister who died last week.

Two funerals, no weddings and one smile – I can still smile. Smile, because if I have the opportunity to write this message and share it with you. Smile because I have the memory of Valerie and Leanna to reflect on and know that they have lived full lives, even though they seem to have been cut short. The loss of a loved one is never an easy thing and comfort can only be found when we make peace with the situation. We must allow ourselves to grieve and celebrate the life of the one loss, in a way that would make them proud.

“I smile, even though I hurt see I smile,
I know God is working so I smile,
Even though I've been here for a while (what you do?)
I smile, smile..
It's so hard to look up when you've been down.
Sure would hate to see you give up now
You look so much better when you smile, so smile.”

–        “Smile” by Kirk Franklin

The sun is shining and the weather is sweet. Enjoy your Sabbath.

Color Codes

If you’ve ever watched an electrician work or peeped at the wires in your wall, you would notice that they come in different colors. White tends to be neutral, with either the accompanying black or red wires carrying the actual power. When connecting these wires to light switches or outlets, it’s important that the wires are secured to the correct screws or the power won’t flow properly. Electricians also use different color tape. There is white, black, red and green, which they use to color code the wires. By doing this, they are labeling the wires and making it easier for any future electrician to recognize the purpose of each wire and work accordingly.

While this method of “color coding” is beneficial to electricians and people in other fields, it is not a good practice to use with people. Giving a quick glance to an individual may provide you with an accurate identification of their skin color, but not their character. A person’s skin color should not prevent them from being treated fairly. A young Black or Hispanic male should be able to walk into a store without a worker feeling they need to be followed. The same way how looking Middle Eastern shouldn’t be the only factor that determines if a person deserves to be on the US terrorist watch list; and being White shouldn’t instantly make you knowledgeable and all-knowing.

We can’t change the opinion of others, but we can alter our own. In order to progress, we have to look beyond color and at character. It is important that we view people for who they are and not how we think they should be, or based on an experience with someone else who looked like them. The same way we become offended when people stereotype us, we can’t do it to others and think it is acceptable.


Coloring codes are meant to keep things separate, not people.

Thursday Cheer

It's a bright and sunny day, I hope you make the best of it
Think about all that you have, try to do your best with it
No matter how bad things seem to be
Remember, "there's always someone worse off than me"

Things may be difficult, but they really aren't that bad
Try to smile instead of getting mad
Turn that frown upside down
Do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around

It's almost the weekend, just one more day
"You can do it!," is what Tony Little would say
Your Morning Motivator brings you greetings
And hopes your Thursday isn't full of meetings

Have a Happy Thursday, everyone!

Power of One

It doesn’t happen very often, but its affect is powerful. It tends to brighten our days and make things seem a bit easier. Some of us are on the giving side, more often than we are on the receiving side, but it happens nonetheless. It takes place when you read a “good morning” text on your phone before heading to work or when you get a “just thinking about you call,” at one of your low points. Maybe it’s a surprise package in the mail, flowers when you get home or a surprise weekend getaway. If you haven’t figured it out yet, it is the “power of one.”

The “power of one,” is a single action that causes an individual to feel, think and/or act differently based on receiving something encouraging. That may not have been the intent of the giver, but that’s how the action was received. This action that was done has now enabled the recipient to look at the glass half full, even if it is only for a moment. They start to feel differently because someone has taken the time to show them that they are relevant.

We all have the “power of one.” Every time we smile at someone, give a hug, play with a child or call a friend, we are telling them that we find them important enough to think about and interact with. It is not our place to decide when a person can be happy or sad, but it is our duty to ensure we leave positive memories with them. Whether we want to admit it or not, we have the ability to influence feelings. A teachers’ attention to a student may be all they need to pass a class, since no one has time for them at home. A nurses’ care with a patient may be the deciding factor between life and death, as no family members visit. A kind word in the business world could be the deciding factor for an employee who was thinking about “going postal” or seeing a therapist. We never know where our actions will lead people, but if we act with good intentions, I’m sure they’ll go a long way.



* Thanks for being my “power of one” this morning, I hope you feel better.

The First Day

Months of quick early morning commutes and empty sidewalks have been brought to an end. As little feet in penny loafers and Mary Janes stand next to big feet in heels and wingtips, waiting to cross the street and begin a new year of educational excellence. There were some tears and adamant voices demanding one more kiss and hug, but alas the children were freed to enter their classroom and see their friends. New shoes and uniforms are being shown off as teachers stand in awe as their “little helper” from last year has grown a couple inches and lost some teeth. Others nervously leave the comfort of the parents’ car, as they climb the steps to a new start with a prayer in their hearts and a straight face. Only to smile at a familiar face they had graduated with from 8^th grade.

A new school year begins today and with this new school year, comes responsibility and expectations for teachers, students and parents. My hope is that it this year starts on a good note and progresses well. May teachers engage their students in creative thinking and exercises that force impressionable minds to be used and challenged. May students understand the importance of the academic studies and embrace the new challenges that are set before them. May parents be loyal cheerleaders to their children and advocates for the teachers when necessary.


Happy first day to all, and to all a good day. 

Rep' Your Country

Happy Labor Day!!

I don’t know about other states, but here in NY the holiday should be renamed “West Indian Day.” As you walk throughout the five boroughs of the city, you are sure to see flags, clothing and hear music representing the various islands of the Caribbean. Sunday night made way for J’ouvert and today thousands will gather on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn, for the West Indian Day parade.

If you think about it, West Indians and labor go hand in hand. Many, including my parents and grandparents, came to this country in search of a better life for themselves and their families. They worked hard to make ends meet and to climb up the ladder of academic and professional success. For years, some work under the radar unable to claim certain benefits because of their legal status. Yet, they do the best they can with the situation they are in.

Like every situation, there are a few bad apples, but that doesn’t spoil the bunch. Think about the positive impact West Indians have had on this country and New York in particular, as they babysit, teach, hold elected political positions and run major businesses. As my fellow Jamaicans like to say, “We run tings, tings nuh run we.”

As we celebrate and spend time with our families and friends today, let’s remember those West Indians and other immigrants, who have labored hard for themselves and this country.


No matter where you are from, “Rep your country.”