Flashy Character

A few years ago, my mom bought me a designer handbag. Unlike most of the other popular bags in this collection, this one didn’t have the initial of the company plastered all over. Unless you looked on the inside of the bag or glimpsed the small tag hanging off the side, you would never know it was from a top company. Mom says, it was that feature that made her like the bag – it wasn’t flashy, showing everyone what type of bag it was. Yet it held just as much monetary value, as other flashy handbags.

I really like the handbag. Not just because my mother bought it for me, but because it is a really nice bag and I’ve never seen anyone else with it. However, I also like (some) of the bags with the designer’s initials visible on the front. Let’s be honest, we buy name brand items not only to please our favorable appetite towards the item or because they are quality made. We buy them to show others that we can afford items of a certain price range. Some also do it, hoping it might “place” them in a certain status group. All over we see people with designer clothes, handbags and shoes, even though they may not have food to eat or money for their rent. But in their minds, they have used the money wisely.

My message to you this morning is – “Flashy Characters”

Way too often we as humans use material things to cover who we really are. We wear a big hat to church, so no one will see the hurt that lingers underneath. The name brand sneakers and clothes, hopefully cover the love that is nonexistent. Many of us try so hard to cover the truth we miss out on the value in being honest. Nothing is wrong with dressing nicely and wearing designer clothes, but we cannot allow those materials to take the place of our genuine identity. We need to allow our true character to shine through. While some negatives may linger, we must learn to accentuate the positive.

Allow your smile to be brighter than your shirt. Let your passion for helping people, stand out more than your passion for sneakers. Spend more time with your family, than working on your car. Buy one less pair of shoes and take your spouse or significant other out. Instead of buying that outfit for yourself, use the money to get someone else something.

Nothing is wrong with shiny things; just make sure you also have a flashy character. 

Continue to be Grateful

As I thought about yesterday’s message, a funny story came to my mind. When I was in the 5^th or 6^th grade, my mom sent me shoe shopping with my dad. (Big mistake… huge. LOL… sorry dad). Since I attended a private school, the shoes had to be black lace-ups. Of course I was hoping for something fashionable, but my dad’s goal was something else. That’s right… you guessed it – durability.

After trying on a couple pairs, he found a pair of wingtip type black lace-ups. He bent them, checked the stitching and felt they were shoes that would last. I wasn’t a fan of them, but being the obedient child that I was I consented to trying them on. As the salesperson returned from the back, I felt relief when they said the store had no more of that style in my size. Unfortunately, my dad wasn’t giving up as easily. He decided that I should try on the next available size. I’m sure you could imagine what I looked like, trying on these wingtip shoes there were a full size too big. But for dad, he made out like a bandit. The way he figured it, these shoes could last me two years, rather than one; which would save money long term.  I tried to explain to him how easily I could take the shoes off without pulling the laces and the possibility of them flying off my feet as I played during recess; neither of these situations helped my case. His solution – wear an extra pair of socks.

Needless to say, I ended up with those shoes. They not only survived that 5^th or 6^th grade school year, but they made it through to 8^th grade. The only reason I didn’t have them for high school, was because the bottom had rubbed out from me playing in them during recess.

My message to you this morning is – “Continue to be Grateful.”

I know my dad meant well in buying those shoes for me. It’s a joke in my family, to this day. And he still thinks it was a good decision!!

There are two simple lessons here. The first is that I had my father to take me shoe shopping. Not just for that day, but for many other instances. There are so many children living in single-parent homes, not because one has passed away, but because someone has neglected to take responsibility for their actions. To those who have children and those who hope to have in the future, do your best to care for them and buy them shoes one size too big. The second lesson is to be grateful in the small things. All over the world and even in our neighborhoods, children attend school without the essentials. Some may have clothes, but no breakfast, others have food, but no school supplies.

So in all things, regardless of how big your shoes are, continue to be grateful.

Be Grateful...Regardless

A friend of mine has a very interesting phrase he likes to repeat, “I’m grateful… regardless.” He repeats it so often he actually has the words “grateful” and “regardless” tattooed on both inner forearms. He knows his line of work isn’t considered one of the most morally correct, but he also knows what he has dodged in life and how far he has come. Some of his ethics may not line up with mine, but I respect his game and he respects mine. I also admire his ability to be grateful, regardless of the situation he is facing.

My message to you this morning is – “Be Grateful…Regardless.”

I’ve witnessed my friend lose thousands of dollars in business deals that have gone wrong. Yet he has remained grateful, because he still has the ability to try again. How many of us are truly able to take that attitude with the situations we find ourselves in? Instead of being thankful for the job we do have, many of us complain about having to go to work. Even when I wasn’t happy with my job, I tried my best not to complain, because I still had a job and regular pay. We have to start being more grateful for the small things, in order to truly appreciate the bigger blessings that will come.

We may not have our dream house, but we have a roof over our heads. The job may not pay much, but it covers our bills. Our friendship circle may be small, but those in the circle are genuine. We cuss the alarm clock, but someone didn’t wake up. We have to start being more appreciative, because it could always be worse.

Let’s practice being grateful…regardless.

Love Yourself First

You can’t truly love another, if you don’t love yourself first. That’s like teaching someone else to drive and you don’t know the purpose of the emergency brake.  You can’t teach what you don’t know. Yes you may have witnessed others doing it, you may even have read up on it; but until you experience it for yourself, you can’t share with anyone else.

My message today is simple – “Love Yourself First.”

Way too often we try to share something we really don’t know about, love being one of them. Many of us confuse the emotional and physical and end up hurt and confused. If we take the time to truly care for ourselves and find out what makes us happy, we are more likely to share honest love with others. Take care of yourself, in order to take care of your children. Treat yourself to dinner and a movie, so that you can allow your spouse or significant other to do the same. Spend time alone, in order to appreciate and not infiltrate when another wants to do the same for themselves.

We can only give what we have. Anything outside of that is fake or impersonal. It is therefore important that you love yourself first, so that others can experience the real you. 

Keep it Fresh

Renovation complete!! What does the new you look and feel like? Are you more generous, more caring, less edgy and irritable? Have you decided to stop paying attention to minor issues and start focusing on the bigger picture? Did you really throw away the old appliances, or go and retrieve them from the dumpster before the garbage truck came?

After this 5-day project, I sincerely hope you’ve made some changes in your life, or at least started the process. I know renovations aren’t easy, as they require time and coming face-to-face with situations that we’ve pushed to the back of our minds. But they are necessary, for us to be our best self. Because we’ve placed something in the back of our mind, doesn’t mean it’s resolved. It has just changed positions with another situation and been temporarily placed on the “disabled list.” We’ll never use our lives to full potential if we have a full roster on the disabled list. We have to let go and move forward.

My message to you is simply – “Keep it Fresh.”

As with any renovation, when it is first completed the owners take time clean the appliances and/or furniture. Everything is dusted regularly, mopped, cleaned and kept looking fresh. Then time goes on and the upkeep is no longer done on a regular basis. Cleaning goes from every other day to once a week and once a month; rust starts to show and the “new car smell” disappears.

My hope is that you don’t allow this to happen to your life. Take time every week or month, depending on your situation, to re-evaluate what is going on in your life. Throw out what isn’t being used, clean what remains and use the good china. Keep your life fresh and it will do the same for you. 

Breaker Box

For a better part of this week, we have been dealing with self-renovations. One of the major “appliances” in our lives is the heart and we also need to make sure it is in good and operable condition. It’s the breaker box for the body. Some of us take advantage of this box and allow others to push and pull switches in it carelessly, which may lead to a switch becoming worn or useless. Other breaker boxes are taken care of the owner, but because of life and circumstances that box gets a little damaged and needs some repairs or upgrades. Today, someone in my family is getting a physical repair done to their breaker box. My hope is that everything goes well and those working on them take their time and repair all the switches carefully. (They’re strong, so I’m sure they’ll be fine.)

Others of us may require a non-physical repair, due to hurt or circumstances that have taken place over the years. It may not seem like a big deal now, but the breaker box is important and we have to ensure its proper functioning, for the rest of the body to do well.

My message to you this morning is – “Breaker Box.”

Do the best you can to care for your breaker box. While some damage happens because of outside factors, others we are in control of. What we have to ability to monitor and care for, let’s take care of. If your damage is emotional or mental, try to make peace with your situation and move on. You can carry that burden for so long, before it starts to wear on you. Unlike homeowners who can replace switches in boxes as the need arises, it’s not always that way for the human box.

 To the best of your ability take care of your breaker box, so it can help you help others. 

Choose Quality

We’re continuing with the renovation process today. Now that the space is clear and our wiring is grounded to a reliable source, we can start thinking about designs and new appliances. It’s time to upgrade our lives with people, things and situations that are going to make us look and feel good.

When someone does a gut remodel in their home, it’s done with the purpose of creating something new in an old space. The foundation may be good, but the cabinets and appliances are removed and replaced because they want an upgrade. While it may be less expensive to paint over the cabinets or place new flooring over the old tiles, the truth will eventually be exposed. Paint may chip and flooring may become loose, exposing the shortcut the homeowner took. The same thing happens with our lives. If we don’t take the time to gut our lives of the old and replace with new, wholesome people and ideologies, the old will eventually start to peek through.

My message to you this morning is – “Choose Quality”

Take the time and invest in quality friendships that will build your morale and help to make you a better person. Start a realistic exercise routine that will help you reach your weight loss goal and help you feel better about yourself. Use products that boost your self-esteem, not bring it down. This time around, invest in yourself and choose quality products when doing a self renovation. In the end, you’ll be more appreciative of the work that was done.

Grounded

For the past two days, I’ve been talking about renovating our lives for the better. In order to have a successful renovation, it’s important that the first step, demolition, is done completely. Once demolition is complete and debris has been removed, we are usually left with an empty space. When working on a house, it’s also during this time that homeowners have an electrician and/or plumber come in to inspect wires and pipes for any malfunctions or other insufficiencies. It’s important that everything is working properly, in order to prevent damage to any new equipment that is added to the renovated space. The same thing needs to happen when we renovate our lives. We need to ensure our power connection is up to code, before bringing in any new “equipment”.

Today’s message is – “Grounded.”

What are you plugged into? Where are you getting your energy from to make it through each day’s trials, temptations and unending drama?

When a good electrician installs a breaker box, they always ensure a wire from the equipment is grounded. This process is important, in order to prevent short circuits and possible fires – which we all know can be costly to our pockets and/or our lives. The same thing goes for our personal wiring. We need to make sure we are grounded to a source that will help us move away from prior negatives in our lives and stay focused on the upcoming good.

As we go through this renovation process, remember to get and/or stay “Grounded,” to a reliable source. It will only prove beneficial.

Know When

In yesterday’s message, I started discussing the self “remodeling” or renovation process. I talked about the importance of getting rid of physical and mental rubbish that is preventing us from reaching goals in our lives. But I know this is often easier said than done. If it were easy to get rid of the unnecessary, more of us would be doing it and doing it quickly. Unfortunately, it isn’t an easy process and if not done correctly, it may sometimes cause damage to an individual, their relationships and/or bystanders.

Think of the show “Hoarders.” These individuals have buried themselves under tons of items, garbage, sometimes priceless artifacts and even pets, because they don’t know how to let go. They know the items are literally trapping them in their homes, as they are unable to move freely from room to room, due to the large amounts of “junk.” Many of them don’t have access to the fridge because items have been stockpiled in the kitchen, blocking the door. Others are unable to use the toilet or shower, due to a broken pipe that can’t be reached for repair. Their lives have become limited, thanks to junk!

My message to you this morning is – “Know When.”

Know when to move on - before the negatives have a chance to pile up and take over your life.

Know when to ask for help – we aren’t meant to carry every burden on our own, but help won’t come unless we ask.

Know your timing – if something is removed from our lives before time, it may sneak back in. Make sure whatever you get rid of, you have made peace with.

Know when to get rid of the old in order to start anew.

             

Out with the Old

Yesterday I got my exercise in, helping to demolish a kitchen. In addition to exercise, I also find demolition/construction helpful for de-stressing. Any pent up anger or frustration I may be feeling is released by tearing down cabinets and breaking tiles. Trust me, it’s a great feeling.

However, this opportunity was only afforded to me because someone wants to remodel. The homeowner felt the need to make a change to their house, and in order for that to be accomplished they first have to get rid of the present kitchen. For whatever reason, the current kitchen is no longer sufficient for the homeowner. They may feel the kitchen is outdated; appliances no longer work as they should or the space isn't being used effectively. Whatever the reason, they want a change. In order for there to be a change, they have to get rid of the current situation.

My message to you this morning is – “Out with the Old.”

We all have something and/or someone that needs to be demolished out of our lives. For a while that habit may have been fun or worthwhile, and then we got older and realized it was breaking our pockets and keeping us away from our family. That friend was great during our college years or when we were single, but they've failed to mature and no longer serve a meaningful purpose in our adult lives.

Just like the homeowner who knew when to get their kitchen demolished for a fresh remodel, you have to know when to demolish certain habits and people out of your life, to make way for your remodel. There will always be memories attached to anything you've had for some time. Keep the memories, but learn to move on. My challenge to you is to find one thing or person who is holding you back from a goal and start removing it from your life. You’ll never move forward if you can’t let go of the past.

It’s a new day. It’s time for “Out with the Old,” so you can make space for the new you.

Set Your Goal

Yesterday I talked about staying focused and the importance of not becoming distracted, in order to “handle” the curve and make it safely around. Losing focus happens not only when you’re distracted, but also when you haven’t set a definite marker on as your focal point. You may know where you want to go, but you aren’t really sure how to get there. Or you may know how to get there, but haven’t really decided on your end goal. Because of this, others may be able to distract you with frivolous things and take you off your course.  

My message to you this morning is – “Set Your Goal.”

Once you have defined your end point, you need to stay focused and stick with it. It becomes easier to stay focused, because you now know exactly what you are working towards. There’s no guessing or drifting based on the opinion of others. Your goal has been set, your eyes are focused and the race is yours.

Stay Focused

Yesterday I visited a friend, which took me to a highway entrance I very rarely use. As I handled the curve to enter the highway, as always, I had a flashback reminding me why this particular entrance was so “special” to me. Years ago my dad used to go grocery shopping in the area and this was the entrance he would use to get on the highway and go home. I always remembered that entrance because it was dark and “scary” in my four and five year old mind. On the curve is a big boulder, which seemed to come at me as dad was driving. I would close my eyes and hope nothing happened.

When I first started driving, I actually went looking for that entrance so I could experience it for myself. As an adult, it no longer felt “scary,” in regards to the boulder coming at me. However, there remained a certain fear as I tried to handle the curve as an inexperienced driver. Along the divider I noticed black skid marks of other vehicles, whose drivers must have underestimated or overestimated the depth of the turn and collided with the cement blocks. But as I took the entrance yesterday, I noticed a new feature on the dividers, reflectors. This made me think about a couple things I would like to share with you this morning, on the topic – “Stay Focused.”

As a four year old, buckled in the backseat of the BMW, I was never afraid of my dad’s driving (even though I’m sure he was pushing the speed limit). I knew I was with my dad and he would keep me safe. The reason he was able to take the curve so seamlessly, was because he knew the curve and he stayed focused. Dad was alert while driving, knowing at what point to downshift in order to allow for optimal performance (which he enjoyed) and getting safely around the curve (which was needed).

The skid marks on the divider are a representation of drivers who are not focused. Whether you’re a new driver or experienced one, if you don’t know the corner, there is a risk of crashing your car. You have to keep your eyes on the road, especially at night, and allow your headlights to assist you. Now, they have placed reflectors on the dividers, giving distracted drivers an opportunity to make it safely around the curve, with some assistance.

There are a lot of curves that we encounter in life. Some we can enter at a fast pace, while there are others which will require us to downshift, in order to make it around successfully. Just remember to “Stay Focused” and you’ll come around fine.

Things Remembered

One of my coworkers is getting married next month. Since I’m the unofficial party planner in the office I was asked to plan a bridal shower luncheon. I was also tasked with the responsibility of buying the gift. After searching the bridal registry I decided it would be nice to get the couple a personalized gift, so I went to one of my favorite stores, “Things Remembered.” For those who don’t know this store, it provides individuals the opportunity to personalize various gift items (drinking glasses, photo albums, key chains, etc.). You can even bring items bought in other stores and have them engraved.

After spending my lunch hour and a half, I finally found a gift that I liked and I thought the couple would appreciate as well. I had it engraved with their monogram and the date of their nuptials. The next day, I presented my coworker with the gift, a cake knife and server. Later that evening she texted me, thanking me again for the gift and telling me that her fiancé really likes it as well. She then told me that her mother suggested they not use it at the wedding, because someone might have “sticky fingers.” Instead it should go in the china cabinet in their house and remain on display, LOL (gotta love West Indian parents). We both laughed, as she stated that someone would have a hard time explaining having a knife with their wedding date on it.

My message to you this morning is – “Things Remembered.”

What have you done for someone that they will remember for a long time? Have you done a good deed that will remain engraved in their minds and hearts?

It is important that our daily interaction with people is inclusive of something positive, even if the original purpose might be negative. For example, we might reprimand a child for something that they’ve done, but that doesn’t mean the interaction must end with yelling or a spanking. After giving the punishment, remind them that they are still loved by giving a hug or another positive gesture. This not only works for children, but friends, spouses, significant others and anyone else we interact with on a regular basis.

At the end of the day I’m sure you want your positive vibes to be the “Things Remembered.”

Take the First Step

Today is the beginning of something new for me. It’s my last day at my current job. After over six years of employment, I have decided to move on. There are no hard feelings between my boss and I; we are parting on good terms. While it was a great experience and I learned a lot, my role there wasn’t in any of my long term goals. My employers and coworkers understand that, therefore they are wishing me well.

You may be wondering where I will go next, and my answer to that is, “I’m not sure.” What I do know, is I’m no longer stressed, I don’t curse the alarm clock and there’s now a strong possibility I can lose the weight I gained from sitting behind a desk or steer wheel for long hours at a time.

I feel great!

My message to you this morning is – “Take the First Step.”

I know I’m not the only one who wants to make a change in my life. Whether it’s a change in relationship, employment, financial situation or living conditions, nothing is going to be different if we continue doing the same thing. For over a year, I’ve been applying and looking for a new job, to no avail. In the meantime I was growing miserable at my current place of employment and the level of my work was starting to decline. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I realized, in order for me to get the “work” I want I may have to leave my current situation.

If your significant other is no longer acting like the person you thought they were, maybe you have to leave in order to find the right person. If your current living conditions are no longer satisfying, you may have to move to get something that is more your speed. If your job makes you think evil thoughts, you may need to look elsewhere.

In order to experience something different, you have to be willing to, “Take the first step.”

I’m stepping out in faith today. What are you going to do?

-Simone

Shelter Leaves

In my backyard are two trees. They are both a blessing and a pain. A few weeks ago I was cleaning up the yard and it started to rain heavily. I didn’t notice the rain because I felt it on my skin, but because I saw it hitting the ground on the properties around me. The leaves on the long branches provided shelter for me, from the rain. When the sun is out, they also provide me with a nice shade. However, these leaves that protect me can also cause damage, if we’re not careful. Since the trees are old, the branches stretch very wide, at some parts stretching over the house. In the summer, but especially in the Fall season, my dad has to climb a ladder and clean out the gutter. This is done to prevent the gutter from overflowing when it rains, as the leaves fall in and block the drain. If the drain becomes blocked the water may back up and start to leak into the house, which would be another problem.

My message to you this morning is – “Shelter Leaves.”

What kind of leaves are we being? Are we providing people with shelter during bad experiences and hard times in their lives or do we clog their minds with negativity and insults? Are we spreading Christian love and care or acting like the world and continuing to stomp a person while they are down? The leaves in my backyard have both positive and negative characteristics, which is why we keep them. Even though the negative could be detrimental to the house, proper maintenance has prevented that from happening. This has allowed the positive benefits to outweigh the negative. 

What are your “shelter leaves” doing? Are they providing coverage to build someone up or collecting themselves to see them fall? Just remember, while you are collecting to clog someone else’s drain, someone may be collecting against you.

-Simone

Go Deep

There are a lot more lessons to take from the trees in my backyard.

I particularly remember Hurricanes Irene and Sandy, and the destruction they caused. All over the city, huge trees had been uprooted likes weeds in a flowerbed. Some had fallen over and destroyed cars, while others fell onto houses, destroying possessions and lives. It boggled my mind how wind was able to uproot hundred year old trees, possibly planted before the houses were even constructed. But unlike those trees, the ones in my backyard stood firm. They did lose a couple branches and some leaves, but after the storm passed, they remained strong. Why? Because they had deep roots. Whoever took the time to plant those trees in my backyard, understood the importance of digging a deep hole for them to go in. This way, as they grow, the roots would spread wide and deeper, ensuring that they had a solid foundation on which to stand.

When a storm or hurricane passes through, it may rock the tree. Some leaves may be lost and branches may break, but the foundation remains strong because it was planted deep.

My message to you this morning is – “Go Deep.”

Whatever your conviction or beliefs may be, stand deeply in them. Don’t allow yourself to be rocked by the storms of life. Like everything else, they will pass. Yes, you might lose some leaves called pride, greed or selfishness, but they may have been holding you down. You may even lose some branches called family and friends, but the truth is they should have been gone a long time ago. We’ll just call it pruning. Hurricane “Lost My Job,” “Bankruptcy,” “Depression,” “Guilt,” “Sickness” and “Unfaithfulness” are just storms created to test how deep your roots are.

Stand firmly behind your beliefs. Plant yourself on a solid foundation. This way when the storms come and try to knock you down, like the trees in my backyard, you’ll stand strong because you know your roots, “Go Deep.”

-Simone                                                             

Never Stop

My morning ride took my along a different route this morning. Usually I only stop once during my ride, but this morning I stopped twice, as this route was a bit more tedious than usual. As I took on the last incline, I felt as though I wouldn't make it and I should stop again. But my inner voice told me to keep going. Instead of stopping and starting again, it would be easier to cut my speed and take my time over the incline – so that’s what I did. After those 30 seconds that seemed like forever, I reached the top and a nice downhill slope was waiting for me on the next block. What a relief!!

My message to you this morning – Never stop!! Every day we face a decision, challenge or opportunity that requires us to climb a hill. Sometimes we see the hill, attack it head on and succeed. Other times we rationalize the process, thinking if we stop and go we’ll reach the top. Truth is, we are more likely to stop, and never start again. We get distracted, find excuses or better yet stay in the same spot and complain. BUT, if we just take the time to put one foot in front of the other, make a plan and keep a consistent pace, we’d reach our goal and enjoy the sweet downhill ride that is waiting for us on the other side.

Set a goal, stay steady and NEVER STOP!!